Out of This World Out of Office Message

I was going to write a plain ol’ out of office message but this is what came out instead when I got carried away playing with voice and tone. Feel free to use and modify at your own risk.

Dear cherished customer, light of my financial life, without whom I shall become destitute,

I am going to take a much-needed vacation for a few days from <start> to <end>. You might not reach me because I’m having too much fun even if I’m feeling a little bit guilty about taking a break.

When I get back, I’ll be as fresh as a newly opened kimchi jar and ready to take on an endless river of comments and enhancements. Not that I feel bad about that.

Talk to you on <date>!

Your slightly cooky service provider